09 January 2010

Stand Up Naked.



What to say. I've spent the last few months of my life getting to know someone who I'll never get to be again. I feel like I've lost some part of myself. We just wrapped filming Evan Falbaum's "Getting Outer Space" in which I play the role of Tara.

Acting allows me breathe life into someone else's words. It connects me to facets of myself I never knew existed. I spent months figuring out how to honestly be another person. I studied Tara; her past, her background, her studies, her feelings. I guess you could say it's like controlled schizophrenia. "Living truthfully under imaginary circumstances"- Meisner

Now it's over. Filming. Hmmm.
It's funny, actually. You're thrust into this world; new environment, new faces, new schedule, new life. You expose yourself emotionally for just a few weeks. Then, you're back to painting, knitting, reading, sketching... back to my routine, my rules, my life. It's a bit unsettling, to be honest.

Rosalind Russell once said:
"Acting is like standing up naked and turning around very slowly."

Odd, but it is. Ha.
And I miss it!
Uh OH!
Now I guess I'm the odd one, but I do. I cannot imagine doing anything else! This is my passion and I thank God for it. What a blessing to be able to do what you love. I've been so fortunate to have met such talented people on set. Every new face had something wonderful to offer, the new environment became a home away from home, I became quite used to the new schedule... I loved it all and I miss it dearly.

Filming my first feature has really taught me so much about who I am as an actor and as a person. I know I'm going to scrutinize everything. I'm already thinking about how I could have done this scene or that scene differently. Oh, but the experience. I cannot even find the words to fully reveal it. Thank you so much GOS cast and crew. I will never forget this.

Love.
C

1 comment:

Evan said...

I miss it too.

It's an absolutely absurd lifestyle, but I miss it.