I love the surreal, the fantastic, the imaginary. I love those things of beauty, love and longing. I love the look from the outside in and the solitary. I read a novel a few years ago entitled Geek Love by Katherine Dunn. I was pleasantly reminded of the eerie, yet lovely tale of a family of side-show freaks when I came across a collection of artwork by The Black Apple. Lost On The Midway includes acrylic on canvas and acrylic on wood plaque paintings, along with a handful of dolls and a few pencil sketches depicting the faces of an imaginary circus. It truly captures whimsy with a touch of grim, giving a view into a world almost lost. The traveling circus, how I wish to go one day!
I envision the caterpillar from Alice In Wonderland crawling upon my shoulder, hookah and all, and posing the question "Who Are YOU?" to me at various intervals in my life. I feel like at times I really know this answer, but other times I'm like the kid in class who vehemently raises their hand, waving it back-and-forth, only to be called upon with no idea what to say.
I think it's quite amazing that I'm still living in the same body that, at one time, did not even know how to walk! I'm using the same brain that once aced organic chemistry tests and knows that "helicobacter pylori" is a bacterium that inhabits parts of our digestive system. I spent summers in a tiny two-piece, with little sail boats floating across my top, as my brother buried me under the sand and my Dad sculpted a mermaid body for my small, ringlet adorned head to sit atop. I've fought for love and lost, and ran from people who were amazing. I've cried so hard I could not breathe, and I've been so far up I felt like nothing could touch me. I love making things, writing down my thoughts, stepping into roles and staring into space (both the space around me and the space around the world). I dream. I dream a lot and I dream big, but I also dream small... like of pistachio gelato in Rome and unicorn rides. I love mythology!! I work really hard at those things I find worth working for, like my art. I work really hard at my craft because it means everything to me. Literally, everything. I love flowers, bunny shaped mac&cheese and my friends... I love my friends a lot.
I guess I just wrote this to see where I am now. I don't think it answered much, but I stopped when it answered what I needed it to.
I chose to show a picture (sorry it's blurry) from an instillation artist who I LOVE, Olafur Eliasson, mainly because his art transcends illusion to vividly speak for art, nature and modern life. I like that, too.
Isn't it funny, life? I mean that with all sincerity, neither implying anything particularly good nor particularly bad. Rather, I say this with humble interest. Our lives? Hmm.
As I was driving home the other day, I thought about the weather and how people always comment about enjoying or hating the cold. How they wish it were summer again, or how they feel quite fine with the way things are, and I began to formulate my newest opinion on the matter; in the winter I will love the cold and in the summer, the heat. Now this is not because I'm trying to be pretentious or indecisive, but instead comes about from my love of just living, or rather to say, of feeling alive. I love to feel and be moved by things. In the summer I am so moved by the feel of a warm sun pulling droplets of water from my skin as I step out the cool waters of a swimming hole, or the way chilly winter nights pinch my cheeks rosy as my fingers begin to numb... it is in these moments that I find life. I begin to be changed by living.
But isn't it always that way, those who move around you begin to move within you? I so much enjoy the gravity of things. The way we pull one another without physical touch, without a single world, how we are able to move each other so wholly. I never want to fear the uncomfortable, as so many people do, because it is in those moments that we begin to embody that tug. Out of those moments pain or pleasure begin to unfold, but if we are never there then how are we to move forward? If we never risk the unknown reaction of our actions, how will we ever be in control of these funny lives of ours? I want to have moments that move me, sincerely, viscerally move me. I feel without them, I cannot and should not look back and claimed to have ever truly lived.
Enjoying being moved by the things that surround your life.
I love to thrift. Being thrifty, in general, yes; but particularly being thrifty by means of shopping for clothes at a thrift store. Over time I've gone to many, many thrift stores, bouncing from one to another, steadily adding pieces to my wardrobe. A thought continued to pop into my head, though, and I couldn't help but wonder, "Could I create a whole outfit, shoes to shoulders, with just $20?" It only makes since that a true test of a good thrifting spot is the ability to find pieces that, together, create a unique look at a low cost. Plus I now had this fantastic hypothesis, and all hypotheses require experimentation... no? So, it got in my head that I wanted to test thrift stores, thereby inventing "$20 Thrift" A game of sorts, one used to see who could put together a whole outfit and get as close to twenty bucks, without going over. Could it be done? Well, yes of course, but could it be done well? We shall see...
Now to find a companion. Hmm? Well, fortunately, the perfect person fell into my life by means of work and happy circumstance. Justin is by no means a stranger to the thrifting world, making him a formidable match... plus, he was willing.
LOCATION: IRVING THRIFT
I loved it all. I woke up early to spend the morning at a thrift store, where I was then able to flitter through racks of clothes, putting together a perfectly individualized outfit. As I slowly saw my disjointed pieces come together; a pair of young men's trousers, a brightly colored silk top, woven boots and an olive blazer once belonging to one "Jim Parker"; my heart literally skipped beats. Totaling out at $16.65, I must admit I could have upped my game a bit. If I'd only know my counterpart was going to be so wholly on par... Justin completely beat me, hitting his mark at exactly $19.97!! It can be done. Two complete ensembles, neither going a penny over twenty, and I must say we do look rather dashing don't you think?
Ha! It's such fun when you have this silly idea... and then act upon it.
So, I worked on a monumentally exciting project last year. Literally, it was one year ago that a group of talented writers, directors, actors, designers and all around artists descended upon the unsuspecting town of Shreveport, with nothing more than unadulterated ambition in hand (well we also had a script, camera, lighting/sound equipment and a spaceship on the way). Evan Falbaum, writer/director, has cinematic vision that pours from his heart; Daniel Lachman, lighting designer and resident photographer, can create beauty out of even trivial moments and can truly paint with light ;) ... and now I've heard the work of musical genius composer, Ben Clancy. OH MY GOSH. Listening to what comprises of mere outtakes and ideas has my head spinning!! I can actually hear Getting Outer Space. Please click to listen to Ben's Amazing Work
Moments like today make me so proud to do what I do. I love it so much, it hurts inside. The good, wonderful, even whimsical, kind of hurt. You, know? To put everything into someone other than yourself, someone who is an extension of you in every way but isn't you at all, it's so truly magical... beautiful. Acting seems to be quite a lot like love. I loved Tara and I cannot wait to fall in love again, and again and again. It's what I was made to do. Yes, I'm quite sure of it.
It seems that this year, more than any before, I've been quite uncrafty. I made a few crochet items, hand stitched a handful of gifts and screen printed once or twice... but all and all... not much. This year I want to craft like never before, sewing whole outfits and knitting by the yarn spool!! My first resolution of twenty.eleven... CRAFT MORE! My second... keep up with this blogging thing I do :/
Hi. I'm an actor and artist. I find fashion wholly fascinating; beautiful, emotional, fantastical, and completely practical yet impractical in every way. How wonderful to be able to speak volumes without ever saying a word. This blog captures glimpses of what I love and what I find inspiring. A fashion blog? Maybe. An inspiration notebook? More likely.